My entire life, I remember hearing my grandmother say, “Goodness Gracious!” – and this simple phrase indicated something good or something bad… it was dependant on the situation. In a conversation with a friend I told her, “The reason I can interact with people who have hurt or betrayed me… is because I look for the good in people rather than focus on their faults, past, mistakes, or judgment!” Based on what I learned from Granny, my hope is that I am gracious and find the goodness in others.
Not everyone likes me. I know, shocker, right? What’s not to love? Really? Ha! Ha! I accept that I have a very strong personality and I’m a lot to handle; people either love me or hate me. There really is no middle ground. I used to get upset when others didn’t want to be my friend or were intentionally mean and hurtful toward me. Thankfully, I’m fully aware of who I am and I’ve accepted all of my faults and my gifts. Yes, this awareness and acceptance took me a lot of time to learn and make happen.
Approval from others is not needed although it is sought all too often. I strive to release my ego and instead let my spirit guide me; this is a task I must focus on minute-by-minute. Luckily, as I’ve grown older, I’ve given up the desire for other’s approval and the need for EVERYONE to love me. Some people like Coca Cola while others love Pepsi. There is no forcing someone to like one over the other; the same goes with me.
My optimism and positivity can be a catalyst for greatness, yet it can also drive people away. Many often ask, “Is this chick for real? How can anyone be this positive?” For me, it is a choice. If you’ve read “Everyday Struggle” (click here to view: http://wp.me/p1Tasj-6b) then you know positivity is a daily choice. Also, I choose to find the goodness in others and be kind to those who may not deserve it.
Today, my focus in life is on those who love me rather than those who hate me. Why waste the time and effort? What is the point in returning hate with hate? So as I told my friend, I will look for the good in others; even if they seek only the bad in me. I’m thinking that says more about them… than it does me, right?
My mantra: “Find the beauty in all people, places, and things. Seek and Ye shall find.” We walk through life impacting others daily… most of the time without ever knowing it. No matter what is happening, make it a priority to be the breath of fresh air in someone’s world… rather than the foul stench. With some people, trust me, I know, it is easier said than done. I’m no saint… I struggle just like everyone else. But I also recognize that the days I’m successful in approaching others with love and kindness, I’m happier and there is a bounce in my step.
Live life in such a way that you inspire others with your mere presence and when those people find you annoying or perceive you as fake, then I give you the advice from a dear friend, “just tell them to keep it moving” and send them love, light, and blessings. The things you put out into the universe will find their way back to you eventually. Let others worry about their own karma – for Goodness Gracious!
© Renae Rossman and Candy Coated Reality™
candycoatedreality™ 
Excellent! Look for the good; self-awareness & positive attitude all rolled up in a blanket of self- respect and confidence.
I rely wanted to just keep pushing like, I find your post here beautifully refreshing as do I find you. Oddly enough in my own words I posted something very simulate in tone today as well. Peace,love,light and positivity are a daily, sometimes hourly choice.
Much love and light to you.
Sincerely
Benjamin
Goodness gracious! I’ve been saying that since I was two, usually whenever I was flustered or disappointed. Same holds true for today. People usually take me the same way, there is no in-between. I love your focus and I love this post. Keep being your loving and beautiful self!
This post is such a reflection of five different conversations I had today! It never ceases to amaze me how alike we all are.
Wow Renae! It has been a while since I`ve read any of your posts so I was glad you when I saw this one. 🙂 People should accept us the way we are. That`s why only the ones we really need stays in our life and give us exactly what we need, Love, peace and Happiness. Hope to read in the future some more of your wonderful stories. Have a wonderfull week!
Terrific post, Renae! We are of like mind and attitude. It’s so much easier to stay above the fray than get involved in drama that is unnecessary, but sometimes taking the positive road can be lonely, I’m sorry to say. Love, Peace and Happiness to you and yours.
Nice post and I agree. Goodness Gracious was such a common phrase, I wondered where it went. Probably replaced by an expletive. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea either and I’m becoming more discerning who I spend my precious time with as well. But I utter no defaming words of anyone. We are all so unique. I’ve learned I’d rather be quietly alone than remake myself into someone I’m not to please anyone else. Living in truth is essential. Love the pink hair and gloves. So retro.:)
Thank for this post. My mother (she’s from the South) still says Goodness Gracious rather than what may have been a 4 letter alternative. This is such good perspective. I struggle with this at work especially. What I’ve noticed is it takes more of my energy to be negative than it does to be positive. That’s my little mantra when I’m trying to focus on what matters. Thanks again. Have a great day.
Strong words from a strong lady. Thank you for visiting my blog and I hope you’ll come back – we may speak with different voices, but I believe our message is on the same track.
This is exactly the formula i like to follow. Doesn’t work every time for me but i try =)
Well done. This was really good.
Good luck =)
Absolutely true, there is some level of goodness in each and everyone if you want to see it.
This is a post after my heart. I always tried to satisfy everyone but lately have understood that you can’t satisfy everyone. Thank you for such a lovely post.
Thank you, I needed this today.
Without the candy coating, an M&M would be just a melted hunk of chocolate, delicious maybe, but who wants to be cleaning yourself up all the time? Barbara
We have much in common…positive attitude, looking for the good…even when it takes a lot of effort!
Thanks for stopping by my site as well. I’ll be checking back with you, too.
Wow, I can not believe that someone in this world who think like you, that makes me not lose faith in humanity. It is true that sometimes it is difficult to see the goodness in others when you are removing the belly with a knife, but sometimes I try. Other times I hope the wound to stop bleeding analizart what really happened. Most of the time, I choose to go another way and a second stab Eviatar. Sometimes I give them a chance to redeem himself, seeing the good in them. Whatever it is, which causes me to have that behavior. The important thing is that I gave at the end, I always find a person who does not disappoint.
Thank you for your post.
hai,first of all thank you for this post…my friend this post exellent……
So good! I resonate so much with you on self acceptance! Ironic hthe universal messages we receive are so timely … I recently picked up the book radical acceptance by Tara brach. LOVE. I recently was awakened to the fact that maybe I haven’t accepted myself exactly where I am and who I am. If I did then I wouldn’t worry or stress over other people judging me. Like you said, you either like coca cola or pepsi.. There is no forcing others to like you. And I’m quite similar .. You either love me or hate me. There really is no in between. Hah! 😉 oOh the joys of being me … Which I am truly loving being. And learning to accept. Thank you for sharing! :)) Namaste.
It’s so good to know that you are a very positive person. I am also a positive person mostly except when I feel burnt after my life has been a roller coaster ride it seems. I loved roller coasters because of the thrill & excitement while on them. I loved sports for the excitement & playing also. These are what made me positive because of my biggest health problem was hypoglycemia or having low blood sugar & pressure. when not running or out exercising, my body suddenly takes a dive. I used to take in about 5-6 spoonfuls of sugar when I was a kid for the simple reason I needed it to make my body go. I do know that using niacin or vitamin B3 is a great way to have that get up & go feeling now. I try to get others when they have problems with what I think or do to step into my life or my shoes after explaining to them where I have come from & ask them how they would feel if I were to step on their toes to make them feel as low as they are trying to make me feel. That usually changes them a great deal. I love what I do & if not for what I know & did when growing up, I would have been totally a vegetable as they say in a hospital when not able to move or think or say how you feel.
Rodney
Another winner! My philosophy to a “T”! Are you sure we aren’t twins? LOL! 🙂 I only wish I had learned to not be affected by the naysayers at an earlier age–but I finally got it! Thanks for another great post!
Reblogged this on warmsunshineblog and commented:
Just had to share just one more from candycoatedreality. If you “get” her, you “get” me, too! Just wish I had learned at an earlier age to disregard the opinions of those who were negative. Some of us are late bloomers. 😉
I once had a co-worker tell me, after coming back to my corner of the office and seeing me in tears, that she was actually HAPPY to see that I was crying. She was a very unhappy person and told me that my tears showed her that I was “real”– because “Nobody could be that happy all the time!” I shall not comment on how I felt that day! But it was a sad reflection of her emotional state (and social awareness.) Long since forgiven!