Why is it the societal norm to say that a relationship “completes” you? As if you must find your lifelong partner/significant other in order to be a whole person? So my entire life I’ve walked around as only half a person? NO. I just do not subscribe to this type of thinking. I am not less than. I am more. I am complete. I am whole. Recently, I found myself telling a friend, “I’m happy. I’m really, really happy. One day a man will complement my life; it just isn’t anything I need right now. But when that day comes… it will be great!”
As far back as I can remember having a child has always been a priority for me. My daughter is a miracle; she is a gift from God born from a cryobank donor using artificial insemination. Out of the blue, while talking to another friend I mentioned something about having one ovary and she exclaimed, “YOU HAD A BABY AND YOU ONLY HAVE ONE OVARY?” LOL! I couldn’t help but laugh. I said, “Yeah, at age 42, no less, I gave birth. And I have an infertility auto-immune disease… along with a pituitary tumor at the time. My girl is indeed a medical miracle!!”
For now, my Facebook page is filled with status updates and pictures of my 13-month old daughter. My iPhone has over 150 videos and 3,000 pictures; ALL OF HER. And, this is after multiple downloads to my computer which probably has at least 500 videos and Lord only knows… probably 10,000 or more photos. Everything she does fascinates me. I’m in awe of every developmental milestone. I try to commemorate every FIRST of her life. Would I be this kind of mom if I gave birth to her 20 years earlier? Maybe; I’m not really sure.
Of course, my life is so much more than my daughter. I am so much more than being a mother. But, everything I am… everything that is my life… pales in comparison to her. Nothing else matters. For now and forever more… my life is no longer about ME… it is about her; my precious little nugget. Dreams do come true… even if they are much different than you ever imagined when they were just a glimmer of hope in your mind.
Even with all of this said… I was a whole person before I gave birth. My daughter does not complete me. God forbid I put that kind of pressure on her… or anyone else for that matter. My happiness comes from within ME. Sure, she is my world. Sure, she brightens my world immeasurably and fills me with more love, pride, and joy than I ever thought possible, but she does not complete me. I am the cake. No pieces are missing. My kiddo is the frosting; the yummy, delicious, decadent icing. One day… my mate will be the sprinkles on top! And, let’s face it sprinkles… you can take ‘em or leave ‘em. No biggie.
© Renae Rossman and Candy Coated Reality™
Great news. I wish more would have this train of thought.
Yes! Me too!!
This was amazing!
Well said! I view having a spouse as a partnership. It’s nice to have someone to work with in life but I’m perfectly capable of doing things on my own.
Great post! And I agree, Jennifer 🙂
Thank you so much!!