Starting a family is a major decision that impacts a lifetime; more than one lifetime as a matter of fact. Sometimes, this choice is “magically” thrust upon you by accident (oopsie, birth control failed or forgotten) or unforeseen circumstances (rape or custody due to death), but for the rest of us having a baby is methodically planned out. The decision to try is only the starting line. The marathon gets seriously underway upon successful conception, the finish line is giving birth, and the glimmering trophy is your healthy newborn.
Is anyone ever really ready for a child? If you’re anything like me, then we’d all love to wait for THE… perfect circumstance, perfect time, perfect finances, perfect work/life balance, perfect house with plenty of land in the perfect school district, finding the perfect day care so your name is on the waiting list well in advance, and ohhhh, yeah I guess we should find the perfect mate too.
But as life has taught us all too well, perfect does not exist; much to my dismay. Sigh.
For me, the excitement of pregnancy, childbirth, and becoming a parent is equally matched by immense fear and my anticipation is escalated by all the unknown factors that go into making a child through artificial insemination. Now multiply the dichotomy of all of my conflicting emotions with my decision to “go it alone” then sprinkle in fertility drug induced hormone spikes coupled with a whirlwind of side effects and I think the only PERFECT we have here folks is the perfect storm!! Yep, I’ve made the choice to become a single mom… on purpose. Traditional? No. Necessary? Yes.
For many women, the standard conception-pregnancy-childbirth marathon transitions into a full-on obstacle course riddled with thick trenches of mud, walls seemingly as high as the sky, roaring flames, treacherous mountains, ravenous dogs, sharp barbed wire, shark infested water, and death defying hurdles; all standing in the way of the finish line. Envision: “Tough Mudder” aka “Tuff Mutha” – Yes, pun intended.
In my case, I’m definitely maneuvering through a race course of horrendous proportions. But I pay it all no mind, because I can walk, run, jump, swim, crawl, dodge, and climb with the best of them!! When it all becomes too much, and I can’t muster up the strength or courage required to power through to the next obstacle, I remind myself I’m blessed with an inner circle of friends and family who provide unparalleled support and protection that rivals any security system.
Wearing my armor of love and encouragement from these treasured gems, I walk proudly into battle knowing I will exit safely unscathed!!
My obstacle course includes…
- …being a single woman with no children (yet)
- …being a full-time, working professional/entrepreneur
- …turning 40 years old in August 2013
- …having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) an incurable autoimmune disease which causes fertility issues
- …having a prolactinoma (a benign pituitary tumor) that also messes with my hormones and fertility
- …having one less ovary due to a dermoid cyst which demolished it in 2001
Yeah, it appears everything is stacked against me, but I trust with the help of specialists… I will become a mom; a very ELATED mom. With all of this “experience” I’m guessing one of these medical obstacles, my battle with fertility, and/or artificial insemination process will aid me in writing a variety of posts.
Perhaps this blog resonates with you, a family member, or friend as there are many reasons for infertility and I happen to have most of them. If you’re one of the lucky ones, then you’ve reached the finish line, no matter your struggles, and you’re basking in the glory of a well-fought race while holding your precious bundle of joy, CONGRATS!!
For the rest of us… keep running your seemingly never-ending marathon to the best of your ability and cheer others on as they walk, jog, and/or run their race. Please know, I am running right along beside you!!
© Renae Rossman and Candy Coated Reality™