Experiencing God’s Favor

Saint Cecilia, Patron Saint of Musicians

Saint Cecilia, Patroness of Musicians

 

Music to the rescue!! When my daughter was fussy as an infant, I would play her music from a “baby playlist” I made especially for her which is comprised of six contemporary christian songs. It appears they are her favorites too because every time I played these six songs she immediately stopped crying. Praise Jesus!!

Little Miss Grumpy

 

 

This morning my girl, now 14-months, was not herself. Usually she wakes up a bit grumpy because she is hungry after sleeping through the night. Once she has her bottle, she plays happily in her crib while I get ready for work. Today, this was not the case. Sobs. Sobs. Sobs. Holding her did soothe her, but this was not an option for the entirety of the morning because I needed both hands to get ready!

Then it dawned on me…. MUSIC!! Why had I not thought of this SOONER? My daughter loves my iPhone, so as soon as I got it out I could tell she was intrigued. I quickly found her music and hit play. She stopped crying immediately. She was mesmerized. Again, PRAISE GOD!! Thank you!! Of course she loved holding my phone and trying to press buttons, but I had locked the screen. Thankfully, we ran through all six songs, tear-free, while I got ready.

Baby Playlist

This magic playlist holds a special place in my heart. As I heard the songs, I started to tear up a bit. Each song reminds me of the miraculous way my daughter was created. God had a hand in every step. For this, I am grateful. For this, I am humbled. For this, I praise God daily. And. For this, I will forever keep this playlist on my phone!! Let me tell you a bit more about the day my daughter was created and why it holds such special meaning for me (outside of the obvious, of course).

The rest of this blog was originally posted on “And Baby Makes Two” (featured on a parenting magazine website) on July 23, 2014…

Does anything else TRY your patience more than attempting to get pregnant? I’m beginning to think not, yet based on my experiences I may be a bit biased; three inseminations in a row and no pregnancy. These disappointments shook me to my core.

Then the day came to make try four happen. Just as I had announced to everyone, my intent was to WAIT until May to go through insemination again.  I needed a break; emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. January and February were fertility-try-free and it was just the reprieve I need. Then, my cycle started in March and I took a deep breath, threw caution into the wind, and figured “Screw it… let’s do this!” This time… I kept it all to myself; telling NO ONE that I was going to try to get pregnant again.

With each insemination procedure, fear balanced with excitement swirled throughout my soul. Of course, there was a certain amount of nervousness, but really eagerness to be pregnant outweighed all else. Then all emotions came crashing down with each negative pregnancy test and/or arrival of my monthly cycle. Even looking back, it is hard to imagine experiencing all the emotions at once that I did with each failed attempt.

Tuesday, March 11 began like any other day… waking up early in order to make the journey to the fertility specialist. My appointment was at 7:45am. The office is about 30 minutes, without traffic, from my home. While maneuvering through rush hour traffic, I felt my ovary twinge three times. Hmmmm… never felt anything like that with the other tries. “Am I ovulating?” is all I kept wondering during the drive.

That morning I was feeling super congested and miserable. While my doc was prepping everything, I told him I compiled a Contemporary Christian music mix to listen to while I lay motionless for the required twenty minutes after the procedure. I wanted him to understand why my iPhone (with ear buds) was in my hand. He nodded in approval, “Good idea!”  Six of my favorite songs were carefully selected. I just felt the need for some spiritual support while on the table this time around.

In talking with my doc, I mentioned my congestion and he advised that I could take any allergy medication; however, I should steer clear of Allegra. Quickly, I added this note “NO ALLEGRA” to my notepad in my phone, so I wouldn’t forget and then turned my phone off.

My insemination procedure happened at 8:05am.  As soon as my fertility specialist walked out of the room, I looked at my phone and as I went to turn it on I noticed something was playing already? Huh? How? I’m OCD about closing all applications immediately after use and I locked my phone. To my surprise, “Experiencing God’s Favor” was playing. This is a Joel Osteen sermon I had in my iTunes. Keep in mind, I’ve never listened to this sermon before, so it wasn’t cued up to play. It was on my “I will listen to it one day” list.

Yes you guessed it… tears started streaming down my face. I knew it was God reassuring me that try four was the WINNER!!! I felt such a sense of peace fall over me. I was indeed experiencing God’s Favor. I was pregnant… or… soon would be anyway! I felt it in every fiber of my being… from head to toe. Sure, I technically did this fertility thing alone. BUT, each and every fertility procedure, I prayed; inviting God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, Mother Mary, Saint Anne (Mother to the Virgin Mary and Patroness of unmarried women and women in labor) and every angel of the Lord to be in the room with me, so I was never really alone.  I’ve always felt their presence, but this day was different. Today their presence was intensely comforting.

During the twenty minutes, I listened to my Christian playlist. In those moments, I felt moved by the Holy Spirit a few times and the water works commenced. As I redressed I thanked God repeatedly for the little miracle He was giving me that day. Since I was so run down and sickly, I took the day off work to rest.

On the way home, I figured it was a good idea to listen to that sermon in its entirety. It played exactly from start to finish from the minute I left the doctor’s office parking lot until I entered my parking garage. I felt shivers run throughout my body. I exclaimed, “I’m pregnant! I’m pregnant!” Happy tears fell off my cheeks while simultaneously sporting the largest grin known to mankind. I’m pretty sure anyone driving alongside me that day had to think I was losing my mind! Ha! Ha!

Feeling so cruddy, I went straight to bed. Right before I fell asleep I received a text from a dear friend: “#ItWillHappen. So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me (Acts 27:25 NIV). Separate courage from your conditions: Nevertheless, we must run around on some island (Acts 27:26 NIV).” How did she know? God moved her to message me yet ANOTHER confirmation that His timing was NOW.

Wanting to keep my secret, I didn’t even reply to her. Of course, I cried myself to sleep.

It was increasingly difficult to keep my insemination to myself, but each day there was a little bit more bounce in my step as I was convinced I was pregnant. Then the day came to take a home pregnancy test.  Thursday, March 27 I awoke at 4am and pee’d on a stick. Two lines means pregnant. There was one strong line and a second faint line. I wasn’t convinced it was positive.

Going back to bed confused, I woke again at 6am and decided to take another pregnancy test by another company. And again… one dark line and one faint. Did that mean I was pregnant? That afternoon my fertility nurse convinced me to come in the next morning to take a blood test to confirm. The second they opened Friday morning I was back at my doctor’s office.

By the afternoon I received the call, “You’re INDEED pregnant!!  Your HcG (pregnancy hormone) level is 98. Now, we need that to increase to at least 200 or 300 in a couple days, so come back Monday morning.” Again, I was back there first thing on Monday.  Luckily, my doctor’s office is quite speedy in getting back blood results, so later that day I heard the nurse say, “Your HcG is now 334… CONGRATS!! YOU’RE PREGNANT!!” **crying happy tears of joy and excitement**

WOW, talk about experiencing God’s Favor!! Now, I’m 21 weeks pregnant and I can feel her rolling around inside my belly as I type. Each and every day, I say a prayer thanking God for His glorious miracle growing inside me!!!!

© Renae Rossman and Candy Coated Reality™

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