My Granny once told me, “You should consider yourself lucky if you find ONE true friend in this crazy world.” Well, I must be the luckiest damn woman in the universe to be blessed with such loving, caring, thoughtful, loyal, and down-right cool, kick-ass friends and family. Not all friends can be E-V-E-R-Y-THING to us. Some are fun. Others are good listeners. Some are dependable. Others give great advice. Some are always available. I had to learn this life lesson the hard way, so now I accept everyone for who they are, their purpose in my life, and respond accordingly.
In college, I would get so mad when a particular friend was NEVER dependable for the important stuff. But I had sooooooo much FUN with her. It was my double-edged sword. I expected her to be everything I needed in a friend all in one nice, neat package wrapped tightly with a pretty bow. Over time, I realized that if I wanted to go to a bar or club, then she was my girl. If I needed someone very last minute to hang out or go shopping, then she was also my girl. But, if I needed to trust someone with a secret, money, bail me out of jail, or something of importance???? Well, she disappeared… so I would call someone else. (PS, I’ve never been incarcerated, but if I had… she wouldn’t have been my ONE call for help).
It seemed my friends were not living up to my expectations. Was I a bad judge of character? After many repeated disappointments, I learned to accept people for who they are and enjoy their unique qualities that drew me to him/her in the first place. This experience redefined friendship for me. No longer did I expect a friend to fulfill my every friendship need. I was MUCH happier once I accepted this basic truth. Simply adjust your expectations and let your frustrations go because sadly a FUN friend will never be a DEPENDABLE friend no matter how much you may wish or want it to be the case!!
Perhaps, you feel this would be difficult for you. Maybe you feel like it would make you a fair-weather friend? It was tough at first for me too. And it took me years to adjust. I’m so very thankful I did. No matter how FABULOUS of a friend I had the potential to be, I could never be everything to everyone. It was way too much work. At some point you lose joy. What is the good in that? And if I couldn’t be EVERYTHING to EVERYONE, then how could I expect that of someone else? We were all made with different talents, abilities, thoughts, and feelings. Maybe that is why villages worked so well in the past. Everyone contributed their own unique ability to make a complete everything. Hence the saying, “It takes a village!!”
Friendship. It comes in many sizes, colors and durations. Each friendship changes shape over time – growing stronger, and morphing from one stage to another, perhaps fading with distance, or disappearing entirely! If you’re lucky, sometimes a friendship even “re-appears” almost magically when you need it most. Many friends have entered my life at just the right time – a magical moment, if you will. Too often to count it has felt as if they were earth-bound angels sent to guide me along my journey – providing me love, advice and support. I’m thankful for each of my angels. At this point, there are those friends who are within my “inner circle” who I simply couldn’t imagine living without. As a member of my inner circle, you know how much I love you!!
Growing up our best pals were most likely our next door neighbors – you know, those we saw on the regular. As we get older, our friendships span the globe. We can be just as close to the person we see every day as we are our best pals who live from coast to coast, across the pond or up north. We don’t need to chat every day, or even see one another in person, to know our friendship is meaningful. We pick up right where we left off… no matter how much time has passed… as if no time had passed at all.
Friends drift in and out of our lives – sometimes at more of a rapid pace than we might care to admit or even like for that matter; yes, they enter our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. People are put in our path to teach us things… sometimes these things are hard to experience, but it always helps us grow and learn to be better people. We all meet people randomly in this lifetime and it is always good to hold onto the good ones (when you can) and let ‘em know you hold them in high regard and wish them well. All too often people leave that kind of stuff to themselves instead of taking the necessary minute to tell people, “Hey, YOU… you’re pretty great!!!” Sooooo go carve that out for yourself!
PS, It appears WordPress experienced a server issue and notified me that only my newest subscribers received an email notification of my last post. Sigh. There was no way to send out another email once posted, so WordPress suggested I include a link to it in my next post. If you’d like to catch up and read “Angelic SPARKS”… here you go: https://candycoatedreality.com/2013/01/28/angelic-sparks/
© Renae Rossman and Candy Coated Reality™