As I sit here crying… typing through my tears… words flowing onto the page just as fast as the tears cascade down my cheeks… I wonder… What would my life be without my Mother in it? As naïve as this may sound, this is not a question I’ve ever asked myself. It is unfathomable to picture my world without one of my parents in it. Unfortunately, I have friends who have learned all too young in life what it would be like once their parents left this earth.
Just imagine someone telling you, “If you don’t change your ways, SOON, then in two years you will no longer be on this earth!! The stress you carry will ultimately result in cancer… my guess is stomach cancer. Your depression will swallow you up and you won’t want to be here anymore!! You could live until you’re 90 years old, but it is your choice to make the necessary changes.” This is the news my Mom heard earlier this week. **sigh**
See, I gave my Mom an early Christmas gift… a thirty minute session with my life coach. The man is BRILLIANT and he has led my life down many positive and rewarding paths since we meet two years ago. But I never in a million years expected him to share such a warning with my Mom! I’ve brought friend after friend to him over the years and never has he given such an ominous piece of advice. Wow. He certainly had MY attention…
For years and years and years I’ve told my mom, “You work too much. Simplify. Find your passion. Bring some joy into your life. Do what you LOVE. You have the strength to do ANYTHING you want. You have the power to be ANYONE you want. Please carve out your happiness.” I was starting to sound like a broken record. She never listened. Maybe because I’m her child… and after changing my diapers, feeding me, rocking me to sleep, raising me… it is difficult to take anything I say seriously… even now that I’m an adult?
Upon hearing her warning, Mom said she didn’t know how to make changes. My life coach said, “Where do you think she **pointing to me in the lobby** gets her inspiration? When she wants to do something… she just does it. She makes it happen. Nothing stands in her way. She got that from YOU!! But… you’ve lost it over the years. It is time to get it back. You can do it. I know you can.”
I’m just like Mom… stress makes us sick. VERY sick. If you read, “Everyday Struggle” you know that in my early twenties stress nearly killed me. Mom is now drowning in stress!! I’ve learned to manage my stress over the years… I pray Mom learns soon!!
Reducing stress is definitely a process. Here is what has worked for me:
- Watch the movie/documentary “The Secret”
- Read Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” (also on DVD)
- Listen to positive affirmations – I like “101 Power Thoughts” by Louise Hay
- Pray… if you’re spiritual – give your worries to God; He can handle it!
- Meditate… even if only sitting in silence each morning drinking your cup of tea or coffee – this will help calm your mind and still your emotions!
- Do things that bring you joy – singing, dancing, reading, hugging, writing, crafting, shopping, walking in the park, playing with your kids and/or pets… whatever brings you laughter and happiness… DO IT… DO IT A LOT!! Bring joy into your world DAILY!!
- Say this nightly mantra, I love me, I accept me, I’m whole, I’m lovely, I’m worthy, I’m perfect! – The mantra plays over and over in your head while you sleep… without even knowing it… a meditation of sorts!!
- Say the first verse of the Serenity prayer daily: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Write what you’re thankful for when something strikes you. Doesn’t have to be everyday… but make a point to write your thankfulness down when it crosses your mind. Then when you’re stressed or having a bad day… pull out your journal and read what you wrote!!!
- Thank God nightly for all of your blessings. I love the saying, “What if you woke up today with only the things that you thanked God for yesterday?”
- Rid your life of toxic people – negativity breeds more negativity!! Release these people and wish them well. You can even pray for them as I do (always pray for your enemies or those who wish you harm!)
- Use the power of positive thinking to your advantage – seek out the silver linings in all things. Even bad, icky stuff carries our lessons… and if we learn the lesson then that-in-itself is a positive, right? Thoughts become feelings, feelings become things, and things manifest our destiny!!
Be sure to say your mantra and prayers OUT LOUD!! There is power in your voice. When God created the heavens and the earth He said, “Let there be light” and there was light. Genesis 1:3. He said it aloud because a voice is powerful. And don’t panic… this is a lot to remember. I had to write the mantra and serenity prayer in my iPhone notepad and read them each night until I had them both memorized.
Give all 12 ideas a try and see what works for you. One little step at a time… then add to the list as you find things that work better for you or subtract from the list what doesn’t sit well with you. Ohhhhh, and of course read Candy Coated Reality (shameless plug, sorry!) – Ha! Soon your stress will be lowered in direct proportion to your happiness as it increases!!
My whole life my mom has told me stories, “We tried for four years to have you (I’m the first born)… I would pray to God asking for you… all I ever wanted was to be was a Mom… and I loved you from the minute you were born… When I first held you in my arms, I just kept looking at you and saying, Isn’t she beautiful? Isn’t she beautiful?… I never put you down… I would sleep on the floor next to your crib when you were sick… I would change you immediately if you soiled your clothing with food or whatever!” **smile**
That night of my mom’s appointment, she called me to say that meeting my life coach was a phenomenal experience. “Thank you for today. It was one of the best experiences of my life. It was right up there with giving birth to you and your brother!” WOW, Amazing!!! So after hearing those stories on repeat over my lifetime, I know just how special her experience was with my life coach.
I truly hope Momma polishes up her dancing shoes and takes a few million more spins around the dance floor. Especially because this kid (me) is not ready to let her go!!
© Renae Rossman and Candy Coated Reality™