The Last Dance

inspiration cardsAs I sit here crying… typing through my tears… words flowing onto the page just as fast as the tears cascade down my cheeks… I wonder… What would my life be without my Mother in it?  As naïve as this may sound, this is not a question I’ve ever asked myself. It is unfathomable to picture my world without one of my parents in it.  Unfortunately, I have friends who have learned all too young in life what it would be like once their parents left this earth.

Just imagine someone telling you, “If you don’t change your ways, SOON, then in two years you will no longer be on this earth!! The stress you carry will ultimately result in cancer… my guess is stomach cancer. Your depression will swallow you up and you won’t want to be here anymore!!  You could live until you’re 90 years old, but it is your choice to make the necessary changes.” This is the news my Mom heard earlier this week. **sigh**

See, I gave my Mom an early Christmas gift… a thirty minute session with my life coach. The man is BRILLIANT and he has led my life down many positive and rewarding paths since we meet two years ago. But I never in a million years expected him to share such a warning with my Mom!  I’ve brought friend after friend to him over the years and never has he given such an ominous piece of advice. Wow. He certainly had MY attention…

LetGOLetGODFor years and years and years I’ve told my mom, “You work too much. Simplify. Find your passion. Bring some joy into your life. Do what you LOVE. You have the strength to do ANYTHING you want. You have the power to be ANYONE you want. Please carve out your happiness.” I was starting to sound like a broken record. She never listened. Maybe because I’m her child… and after changing my diapers, feeding me, rocking me to sleep, raising me… it is difficult to take anything I say seriously… even now that I’m an adult?

Upon hearing her warning, Mom said she didn’t know how to make changes. My life coach said, “Where do you think she **pointing to me in the lobby** gets her inspiration? When she wants to do something… she just does it. She makes it happen. Nothing stands in her way. She got that from YOU!! But… you’ve lost it over the years. It is time to get it back. You can do it. I know you can.”

I’m just like Mom… stress makes us sick. VERY sick. If you read, “Everyday Struggle” you know that in my early twenties stress nearly killed me. Mom is now drowning in stress!! I’ve learned to manage my stress over the years… I pray Mom learns soon!!

Reducing stress is definitely a process. Here is what has worked for me:

  1. Watch the movie/documentary “The Secret”
  2. Read Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” (also on DVD)
  3. Listen to positive affirmations – I like “101 Power Thoughts” by Louise Hay
  4. Pray… if you’re spiritual – give your worries to God; He can handle it!
  5. Meditate… even if only sitting in silence each morning drinking your cup of tea or coffee – this will help calm your mind and still your emotions!
  6. Do things that bring you joy – singing, dancing, reading, hugging, writing, crafting, shopping, walking in the park, playing with your kids and/or pets… whatever brings you laughter and happiness… DO IT… DO IT A LOT!! Bring joy into your world DAILY!!
  7. Say this nightly mantra, I love me, I accept me, I’m whole, I’m lovely, I’m worthy, I’m perfect! – The mantra plays over and over in your head while you sleep… without even knowing it… a meditation of sorts!!
  8. Say the first verse of the Serenity prayer daily: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
  9. Keep a gratitude journal. Write what you’re thankful for when something strikes you. Doesn’t have to be everyday… but make a point to write your thankfulness down when it crosses your mind. Then when you’re stressed or having a bad day… pull out your journal and read what you wrote!!!
  10. Thank God nightly for all of your blessings. I love the saying, “What if you woke up today with only the things that you thanked God for yesterday?”
  11. Rid your life of toxic people – negativity breeds more negativity!! Release these people and wish them well. You can even pray for them as I do (always pray for your enemies or those who wish you harm!)
  12. Use the power of positive thinking to your advantage – seek out the silver linings in all things. Even bad, icky stuff carries our lessons… and if we learn the lesson then that-in-itself is a positive, right? Thoughts become feelings, feelings become things, and things manifest our destiny!!

Serenity Prayer

Be sure to say your mantra and prayers OUT LOUD!! There is power in your voice. When God created the heavens and the earth He said, “Let there be light” and there was light. Genesis 1:3. He said it aloud because a voice is powerful. And don’t panic… this is a lot to remember. I had to write the mantra and serenity prayer in my iPhone notepad and read them each night until I had them both memorized.

Give all 12 ideas a try and see what works for you. One little step at a time… then add to the list as you find things that work better for you or subtract from the list what doesn’t sit well with you. Ohhhhh, and of course read Candy Coated Reality (shameless plug, sorry!) – Ha! Soon your stress will be lowered in direct proportion to your happiness as it increases!!

My whole life my mom has told me stories, “We tried for four years to have you (I’m the first born)… I would pray to God asking for you… all I ever wanted was to be was a Mom… and I loved you from the minute you were born… When I first held you in my arms, I just kept looking at you and saying, Isn’t she beautiful? Isn’t she beautiful?… I never put you down… I would sleep on the floor next to your crib when you were sick… I would change you immediately if you soiled your clothing with food or whatever!” **smile**

self-talk-david-james-lees1That night of my mom’s appointment, she called me to say that meeting my life coach was a phenomenal experience. “Thank you for today. It was one of the best experiences of my life. It was right up there with giving birth to you and your brother!” WOW, Amazing!!! So after hearing those stories on repeat over my lifetime, I know just how special her experience was with my life coach.

I truly hope Momma polishes up her dancing shoes and takes a few million more spins around the dance floor. Especially because this kid (me) is not ready to let her go!!

© Renae Rossman and Candy Coated Reality™

91 thoughts on “The Last Dance

  1. I love your pages and your form of self-expression, it is a pleasure to have you share your gifts through your pages Thank you. I have nominated you for blog of the Year please visit my page Blog of the year awards and nominations Thank you! Revised
    Posted on December 9, 2012

  2. This is a great post! So well written. It is so true that stress can kill us yet many of us keep trying to do more and more. We need to slow down and actually live our lives instead of running through each day forgetting how important it is to look after ourselves. When I was going through some particularly stressful times in my life, I said the Serenity Prayer over and over again each day and it really helped me. I pray that your mom will be able to lessen the stress in her live and God bless both of you!

  3. Great post! I wish your Mum very well and think she must be quite a woman to take feedback like that and really enjoy and appreciate it. What a gift you gave her with that session. Many blessings on you both:-) PS I keep a regular gratitude journal, one of my most important and transformative good habits.

    • Harula, isn’t gratitude grand? I’m so happy to hear you keep a gratitude journal too!! Yes, I find it very transformative as well. Thank you for your kind words and continued support!! Wishing you the very best in 2013!! God bless 😉

  4. I love the comments re your Mum. Mum’s are wonderful- you tend to take them for granted in your life- but miss them heaps when they are gone! God bless all mums- Thanks Opal

    • A wise man once told me… “We are to listen to our children… for they hold our lessons… they have the answers!” I don’t have children (yet), but based on his words I figure when I have a gut response to something I should share it with my mom 😉 It is not always easy… especially when she doesn’t listen. I love that you listen to your children!! Thank you for your support!! xo

  5. Stress is very powerful. I know stress makes me physically ill as well. In fact, my whole week of finals I basically didn’t eat or sleep. I had a job that I hated so much it made me sick to my stomach every time I thought about going to work. And that’s with my ability to deal with stress pretty well. I love your tips…thanks for sharing. Definitely will try a few of them in my life to see if it works.

  6. Great, GREAT message here! Thanks so much for the reminder. I have lost both of my parents over the past couple of years … Dad just this past September and this coupled with work and other personal issues, I’ve been drowning in stress myself. My parents were very thoughtful throughout their lives … they loved their kids enough to plan ahead and subsequently, thanks to their help, I am now financially able to make the leap toward early retirement … hopefully to reduce stress, rid myself of toxic people and situations and follow my bliss! I count my blessings frequently, but I need to do it even more often.

  7. I love what you have to say in each post, Renae, and all of your wonderful pics with the affirmations sprinkled throughout. Beautiful and inspired! Blessings, Tricia ():-)

  8. Wow – POWERFUL! I’ve changed my ways a lot based on stresses I’ve experienced from my job. I recognize that in favour of going the extra mile for the company I worked and the Customers we served was not the same favour the company I worked for shared. In our company, they’ve suppressed, depressed and compressed (along with all the other negative “pressed” words you can think of) employees who simply wanted to make a difference. So, I thought I needed to get out of that messed up system and find a place where I can really make some positive contributions in this world according to God’s will. Right now I have the basics down, I’m still consulting with God on the way He wants me to go about it, and I am looking forward to the great things He has in store. All in all, you are right, sometimes in life, we just need to leave behind the things that do not work and simply grab by the horns, the things that seem scary but actually works and brings about the best in us all!

    We all need to get our groove back!

  9. I love your honesty, I suffer with stress myself. I would never have found your blog if you hadn’t of liked one of my own posts and that was like a sign. Thank you, you have really helped me- through just one blog post.

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  12. As my mother’s health has continuously declined since April 2012, I found myself increasinly tormented by her suffering, especially during the past couple of months. Pure sound and great music have enormous healing power. The music of Mark Romero and Jim Oliver have been extremely beneficial to me lately. You and your mother may enjoy it also!!! I especially enjoy the page Music – The Story on Mark’s web site — SO TRUE!!!

  13. I’m going back to read as many of your posts as possible. This one struck another cord. I KNEW deep in my soul that I had to do something about the situation I was in but let guilt and fear run me. Until I became ill. I’m grateful for the illness. It gave me permission to move. I thank God it wasn’t life threatening, just extremely debilitating. At 62, I left a 25 year marriage, a huge home and friends I loved to sleep on futons and sofas for almost 3 years. I now do most of the things on your list already. Life is smaller and sweeter, changing for the better each day. I no longer have any fear or guilt. What a load that was. There is a lot of information out there and YOU are doing a wonderful job spreading the word. Keep it up.

    • I’m so thankful to read you released yourself of the burdomsome load of carrying around fear and guilt!! What a joy!! Yes, illness can be a great teacher and a great liberator… sounds like it was indeed both for you and MORE!! Thank you for scouring the pages of Candy Coated Reality!! I so appreciate you!! xo

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