Addictions. Natural Disasters. Recessions. Icky days…
We all have issues, struggles, obstacles and “bad” luck. What is your recovery plan? Sure, we’d all love someone to save us, right? Where is our Knight? Where is our Superhero? Well, my friend… look in the mirror. You’re the one to save yourself. Recovery starts with YOU!!
Life happens. Life is a series of steps. YOUR steps. Every day we face a million different decisions. Choices all strung together in a row. Some believe it is easier to be who others want them to be… live up to others expectations… rather than do the work and take the time necessary to discover who they are and set their OWN expectations.
The only person you can control is YOU!! Your thoughts. Your feelings. Your words. Your actions. Your reactions. No matter how hard you try… you cannot control one single other person in this world: not your best friend, not your sibling, not your employee, not your relative, not your neighbor, not your spouse, not even your children. You can teach your children values, skills and morals, but what they do with them… well, it is their choice. Their life.
As soon as you relinquish control… you will soar. Even with this said, you certainly can set expectations and hold others accountable, yet what they do with your expectations is up to them. How you react to their actions… well that is completely in YOUR control. It is amazing… the minute you RELEASE your attempt to “control” is the very minute things start to come to you!!!
On a bad day, search out someone who needs help. Step outside of yourself. Assist others. Reach just ONE other person. We have something to offer. Get out of your own head. Get out of your own concern and worries and shift your focus on someone else. It could be a loved one or complete stranger. Use your life to aid another and before you know it your mood will shift, your perspective will change, your spirit will be lifted. In the meantime, if you need to let out a good cry… then so be it… what a great release!!
In the land of “pull up your bootstraps” perhaps it is high-time to do just that, eh? Sometimes your nemesis is food, other times it is drugs or alcohol or maybe even spending money we don’t have to spend in the first place. Many times these items help fill a void. What is the void? Only you have the answer.
If only one person determined your life, how would you react? This one person is in control. What would you do? Well there is one person who determines your life… and it is… YOU!! The most popular book section in any library is the self help section. It is called SELF HELP for a reason. All the answers are within you. Only you have the power over your feelings, thoughts and actions. Harness your power. Your SUPER power. This is your life… your approach… so whatever tactics you use… that work for you… are divinely PERFECT!! It is all about making a choice, then another and taking baby steps, right?
So grab a cape and be your OWN superhero!! Recovery is up to you…
© Renae Rossman and Candy Coated Reality™
candycoatedreality™ 
Yeah, but what if you’re that person that no matter how much you help others and no matter how many little decisions you make and how much you take control of your life it just keeps getting worse and going further in the crapper? I make the right decisions and things go wrong anyway. I make good choices and my health destroys good planning. I set up good, working plans for recovery and outside influences destroy the plans and place me worse off than before. This has been going on steadily for over a decade now…
Thomas, you make very valid points… Couldn’t agree more!!! I too have been stuck in relentless “icky” cycles before… and hope to avoid them when and if I can in the future. It is so frustrating, right? I’ve been told “Our lessons keep repeating themselves until we learn the lessson” so I do wonder if within the last decade (when you reflect)… are there any lessons that keep repeating themselves… any particular themes you recognize over and over? The way I see it, any negative is really an opportunity… as long as we learn and grow then the negative can be valuable and a positive of sorts.
I’ve also learned (I shared this in a recent magazine article)… “Life is an echo. Each thought is a wave that reverberates out into the world. Thoughts become feelings, feelings become things. Life shapes us. Character defines us. Attitude makes or breaks us.” – so basically I try to do some soul searching to determine if my thoughts and or feelings have manifested a particular bad or negative situation. For example, if I’m miserable and I feel it, think it, and talk about it… then I’m calling it back to me… perpetuating it… manifesting it… telling the universe that misery is what I want!! I’ve discovered, the hard way through icky times and trial and error, that if I can shift my thoughts and emotions, then I shift my world and my reality is brighter!!! Give it a try… and if you already do… then keep it up… don’t give up… your reward is coming… it is often darkest before the dawn, right? I may sound like a fortune cookie… it is is SO TRUE!! xo!! Thanks for reading and sharing!!!
I feel like I just heard a sermon. Good advice. Most of us need it. But I would be more interested in learning how you do these things instead of feeling like you’re preaching to me. Just a thought.
Barbara, thank you for your feedback!! You make a great point!! This was actually an old post (from 2011) that I decided to repost because it was buried on my page… and I thought it had some good nuggets. I’ve realized that my writing style has evolved from “preachy… you should to this…” to more of a narrative style where I share stories of how I’ve learned lessons, turned a negative into a positive, etc. in my life. I do believe the narrative style is better and easier to relate to than a sermon of sorts!!! I rushed to get this reposted… I will do better next time and if I repost a piece from “yester-year” (LOL!!) I will tranform and update the preachy to a story instead!! Thank you again!! I so appreciate constructive feedback for improvement!! WIshing you many blessings 😉 xo!
Well I`m glad you re posted this article. I find it interesting. I have been there for people when they needed me and I`v have used so many energy to help some of them in different ways, but at the end the most exhausted one would be me because we were back at the beginning. Still I`m doing that and I sometimes remind myself that there are limits, but the idea of letting someone down brakes me. The feeling afterwards “I tried and did what I could” gives me strength and it outweighs the negative and that`s how I gain positive energy back. 🙂 You`re totally right: You can control only yourself and not another person. You could teach or advice them to do something, but if whether they will do so is another thing. And there are moment that it also applies to ourselves. Sometimes we change our minds and do the opposite despite the fact that we received a good advise. You`re saying, no one can control another person. There are people that think they can control another person, but it in fact what they do is more controlling how one person reacts. Unfortunately sometimes people doesn`t see the value and that`s when you get back to the point that you can`t control anyone but only yourself. Oops my comment is a bit long, sorry for that. Thanks for sharing this topic. 🙂
Absolutely… How true, how liberating . . . How wonderful to know this, accept this and move on with a happier life when you do.
Reblogged this on wisejourney and commented:
Absolutely… How true, how liberating . . . How wonderful to know this, accept this and move on with a happier life when you do.
Hi! What an absolutely brilliant post!! Hugs Paula x
Beautifully said. Thank you for stopping by Inkspeare. Much success and blessings in your journey 🙂
This is so lovely and informative:-)
Great advice. God bless you.
Thank you!! And God bless you, my friend!!
I love reading articles that show the writers heart for compassion and you do this beautifully in combination with practicality! I’d like to nominate you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Your prolific and diverse writing has earned you this award! Please see my blog for award rules. Congratulations and many Blessings!
An award? What? Thank you so much!! I’m honored by your nomination!! You’re simply too kind 😉
Reblogged this on sueshan123.
Yes, that is the sentence I remember too often