“Soooo many lives…”

Gosh, over these some odd years it seems like I have lived soooo many different lives. Each ERA, as I tend to call them, has taught me something about life, love and ultimately about myself – each experience carving a little piece of me.

From a tenacious child growing up in the cornfields of Indiana, my life was all about fun and frolic. My family traveled the U.S. when we were kids – hell, we have stood in, at, on or in front of every national monument in the great red, white and blue. I couldn’t ask for a better childhood – no joke!!! Yet as I got older, Indiana just wasn’t BIG enough for me…

At age 21, I ended up in Cincinnati to start a new chapter. This journey, if you please, had many ups and downs, but each and every single one of them well worth its weight in love, joy, laughter, tears, sorrow, excitement, heartache, and more!!! Cinci is where my life actually came A-L-I-V-E.  Here I have met so many wonderfully diverse individuals – each who have enriched my life beyond words or expression. I couldn’t be more grateful.

Back at 26, I was blessed to land my dream job and travel the world, meet new people, and explore vast lands of diversity and culture that the cornfields could never have afforded me.  How wondrous it was to travel from Maui to Baltimore to Miami to London to San Francisco to Nashville… just to mention a few destinations along my whirlwind travel adventures!!  During this time, I was living in New York and then Toronto. Ohhhhhh, these were incredibly joyous times – although way too brief!!! These years were some of the very best of my life. I keep these special memories wrapped in my heart.

In December 2003, when my Granny was in her hospital bed (literally on her death bed), I shared with her my inner most hopes, dreams, goals, challenges… you know the drill.  I will never forget her holding my hand, smiling and saying, “Honey, follow YOUR dreams wherever they may take you. Promise me you WON’T get strapped down with a husband and family too early in life. There is absolutely NO need to rush it!! Know who YOU are before you make any lifelong commitments. Make sure you live every single moment – you have plenty of life to live!” As I think back, I can still see the glimmer of hope in her eyes.  This vision makes me smile and brings me hope.

Those words resonated with me and whenever I feel down, stressed or overwhelmed I remember her advice and do all I can to live life without regrets! Of course, I often go mach-80 with my hair on fire… Is there any other way, really??? Those close to me know I’m INCREDIBLY driven and goal oriented. You know, your typical Type-A “go, GO, go” personality, yet they may not realize that the motivating words from my Granny fuel those desires. There is so much I want from this life and DAMMIT I fully intend to have it all.

Now, I’ve been living in downtown Cinci since 2001. With over a decade as a downtown girl, I think this country girl has adjusted well – LOL!!  With that said, I’ve often wondered if I’ve made the right decisions throughout my nearly four decades. You know… taken the right path. If I had only made one decision differently… where would I be at this moment? Would I own a home? Would I be in a different city or career? Would I be married? Would I be telling my kids, “quiet down” while Mommy is trying to type? Gosh, would I even have time for a blog?  Would I even have an interest in blogging? Hmmmm…

While sitting on the corner of my couch in my one bedroom apartment with these thoughts swirling around in my mind, I notice sunrays filtering through the venetian blinds of my balcony doors.  How beautiful. How serene.  The bright light which illuminates my carpet this morning is surprisingly comforting. Then I realize… I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be at this moment in my life. This is my truth. No matter what choices I’ve made in my life I’m comforted in knowing they were the right choices for ME!!!

As I reflect, I already feel like I have lived at least 12 different lives… so far! Each “era” lives on in my heart and I cherish the memories, loves and friends along the way. Loads of love surrounds my world… Granny was right… I have one hell of a life to live – one era at a time!

© Renae Rossman and Candy Coated Reality™

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4 thoughts on ““Soooo many lives…”

  1. Awesome post Renae! I am excited when I see there is a new post from candycoatedreality. You make me smile each time I read them. Great job.

  2. Thia is beyond inspiring. I am sitting at Lavonatic eating alone with a cocktail and realizing that I am the director of my own life. This is an entry I will forever read when im feeling lost or feeling “why am I here again?!”I

    Im soo grateful to know you and be able to relate these words with a kind face and heart. ❤

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